


Words Unspoken

by Redskybluecherry



Category: One Piece
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Depression, F/M, One Shot, Reader-Insert, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2021-02-12 23:23:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21484543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Redskybluecherry/pseuds/Redskybluecherry
Summary: You didn’t cry, not until later, once you were alone and had actually realized what had happened.You just stood there, in silence. Your mind was full of words, words you’d never get to say. Words you wished you would’ve said.
Relationships: Donquixote "Corazon" Rosinante/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 35





	Words Unspoken

**Author's Note:**

> TW: There are mentions of suicidial thoughts in this chapter. They are not explicit.

Sometimes, you allowed yourself to remember...

You'd been with the Donquixote family for a while. You weren't exactly proud of the way you were living, but the gratefulness overshadowed the guilt. Yes, you were grateful to Doflamingo and the family. When everyone else had long given up on you, he had seen potential, had offered you a future.

It certainly wasn't the life you'd planned for yourself, but these people were your family now. And at the end of the day, you had a bed to sleep in and a place to come home to, which was more than you could've hoped for.

You weren't naïve, you knew what Doflamingo was, had seen what madness lurked beneath his charming exterior. You despised him, Trebol and Diamante for what they did each and every day. No, you weren't innocent, but you never took pleasure in hurting others.

Sometimes, when the things you'd done, the crimes you'd committed came to haunt you at night, you contemplated leaving. And yet you didn't, for several reasons.

Most importantly, you didn't have anywhere to go, and you knew one didn't simply leave the family. It would be seen as an insult, as ingratitude. And you'd witnessed first hand what happened to people daring to cross Doffy.

For the longest time, you'd try to convince yourself this was your only reason for staying. But you knew it wasn't.

Even though you'd never openly admit it, you'd come to care for the children living with the family, especially the newest member of the family, a little boy called Law.

You weren't a sentimental person – you'd never allowed yourself to be. And yet you couldn't surpress the steadily growing need to _help_ Law, to somehow show him there was still something left worth living for. Maybe, you were projecting your selfish wish for a mother, for someone to hold (_something you'd never had_) onto him, maybe this was your way of compensating what you'd missed out on when you'd been his age.

Maybe you were just a hypocritical, selfish individual, after all. Maybe you were no better than Doflamingo and the others – maybe you were just using Law for your own personal gain, as well. You didn't know. You weren't sure if you wanted to know.

But spending time with Law – or at least trying to do it, since he brushed you off half the time – gave your days some sort of purpose, besides the killing and the bloodshed.

And yet Law wasn't the only person who was able to provoke those warm, fuzzy feelings.

Loneliness was dangerous, because it changed people's perception of reality. It drove them to do or feel irrational, stupid things, it made them vulnerable. You knew all those things, had repeatedly told yourself to never trust anyone, to never allow anyone too close.

And yet you were tempted to abandon those principles every time you saw him. Rosinante.

You knew he didn't take any joy in hurting people, that he was nowhere near like his brother. You also saw the the warm, affectionate glances he gave the little Law when he thought no one was looking. It made your heart warm up in ways you hadn't known it was able to. Even though his appearance and his name were intimidating, there was a calm, gentle side to him just waiting to be brought to light.

He was an outsider, same as you, was the black sheep of the family, so to speak. Maybe that's why you'd been drawn to him from the beginning. Maybe the feeling you got when you took care of him after one of his infamous accidents was what you'd been missing for so long: To be needed.

Or maybe you were just two insanely lonely people desperate for someone hold onto.

And yet neither of you ever acted on it. Technically, he was still your superior, and you both knew if something were to happen between the two of you, the others would find out and could potentially use it against you.

Lingering touches after you'd helped him up each time he tripped, meaningful glances heavy with unspoken words when no one else was around, genuine smiles send his way when you brought him his tea (after you'd chased away Baby 5 and Buffalo and had made sure it had cooled off) were all you allowed yourself.

It wasn't enough, could never be enough. And yet it had to be.

Each night, you contemplated telling him how you felt, only to ultimately decide against it.

Still, you couldn't bring yourself to stay away.

You were a coward, a selfish one at that.

Many times, you wondered what it would be like if he'd be able to speak. What it would be like to hear his voice, only to scold yourself for indulging in such naïve fantasies afterwards.

Only once did you come close to an actual confession. It was the last time you ever saw him.

It was late, and Corazon and Law had just returned. You had no idea where they'd been, but you suspected Buffalo and Baby 5 knew something about it, seeing as they'd been acting just a little suspicious.

You wouldn't press them about it, though. If either Corazon or Law wanted to share it with you, they'd do just that, otherwise, it was none of your business.

_You needed to keep your distance_, you told yourself.

But then Corazon came up to you, just when you wanted to go retire to your room for the night.

I need to talk to you. Alone.

The look on his face betrayed no emotion, and yet you still followed him without hesitance. You trusted him. More than you'd allowed yourself to trust anyone in the past. More than you knew was good for you.

I'm going to take Law away from here.

It should've been surprising, shocking even. But it wasn't – because you'd entertained the thought yourself. But, other than Corazon, you weren't strong enough to leave, let alone take care of Law on your own.

I'm going to try to find a cure. He deserves a better future. Away from here.

You knew his words contained a much bigger meaning, and of course you knew he was right. Law was still so young, and if the possibility of a brighter future, of a _cure_ was there, you would do anything to make it come true. It seemed your feelings for the small, grumpy boy were much deeper than you'd previously thought. But not just your feelings for Law...

You turned to look at Corazon, your voice suddenly much lighter, more unsure. "But what about you?"

He looked at you for a moment, his expression unreadable, his eyes alight with emotions you couldn't decipher. Then he wrote down.

Unimportant.

Your eyes widened, tears threatening to leave them as you looked at him, his expression as devoid of emotion as it was before.

"Do you seriously believe that?" you whispered. He looked away before fumbling with a cigarette and his lighter. You took the lighter away from him, startling him, before you took a hold of his collar, turning his head so had no option but to look at you.

"You ARE important, you hear me? To Law, and to me." Unable to contain the blush rising to your cheeks, you took his hand, the one still holding the cigarette, lifted it to your face and softly grazed your lips over it. Looking at him, you noticed a hint of red on his face as well.

The look he gave you was intense, it was stirring something inside you you weren't sure you could hold back any longer. Neither of you moved. And for the first and only time, you allowed yourself to _feel_.

It would've been so easy, so tempting to utter those three words.

Words you'd never spoken before, words no one had ever said to you.

But you remained silent. You didn't want to hold him back or tie him down. Law was more important. He wasn't as tainted as you, not yet, anyway.

All of a sudden, it was all too much. Surpressed memories suddenly came flooding back, as well as images of a future which would never happen: Law, Corazon and you, living together, as a family. Law, healthy and loved. No more pain, no more suffering. Just warmth.

Afraid you would do something stupid if you stayed, you stood up, took a deep breath and then left him there, rendered completely wordless irrespective of his muteness.

You'd never know the words he'd wanted to speak to you just then.

You learned about their departure the next day.

Each day, you wondered about him, about both of them. About what you'd say to him once they'd return.

With the both of them gone, your days felt dull and meaningless.

_No more cowardice_. The next time you'd see him, you'd confess. Maybe you didn't deserve happiness, maybe you were selfish. You didn't care anymore.

The day you learned about his death was the same day you learned about his ability to speak.

You didn't cry, not until later, once you were alone and had actually realized what had happened.

You just stood there, in silence. Your mind was full of words, words you'd never get to say. Words you wished you would've said.

Over the years, some memories had faded. You couldn't remember his face as well as you used to. Couldn't remember the feeling you'd had when you kissed his hand. Couldn't remember at what point you'd fallen in love with him.

All you could remember were those words. They were your companion, a constant reminder of your failure.

You'd never managed to escape Doflamingo's hold. Sometimes, when you were at your weakest, you tried to believe the alluring lies he told you. It would be easier to live with yourself if Corazon wasn't the man you'd believed him to be.

Sometimes, you considered leaving this life, ending it all.

Each time you allowed yourself to remember, the feeling got stronger.

But today was different.

Something had changed.

You'd read it in the newspaper.

_Trafalgar Law. The Surgeon of Death. Captain of the Heart pirates._

Suddenly, all those feelings you'd thought you'd lost forever came back, and before you'd registered what was happening, tears had started to fall.

Maybe you still had a purpose in life. Maybe, just maybe, you'd allow yourself to hope again. Maybe, some day, you would be free.

Only time would tell.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm actually not that satisfied with how this one turned out, but oh well.  
I hope you guys still liked it, and as always: Thanks for reading <3


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